Too many hats, create your own path - my favourite cliches.
One day I realised I had grown up and it was time to start living the kind of life I had imagined I might when I was a kid. It came as a shock, because until that moment, I thought that by simply doing the next thing, on the list I would be living the life I wanted. Until the list ran out. I hadn’t written anything past go to uni, get a job, get married, have kids......
It was a painful surprise to find that having fulfilled this list had not fulfilled me.
The next shock was to find that I had forgotten what I else I had really wanted to do.
Or had I? Turns out it was a convenient memory lapse because my younger self had had really high expectations! Be truthful, open, brave! Be successful, famous and help others! Have a serious qualification but don’t forget your creative dreams! Where was I going to start? Especially as I now had two other little souls looking up to me for guidance every moment of the day.
To cut a long story short the next few years looked like this: Cook dinner, be anxious, wring hands, see a psychologist, cook dinner, be anxious, play with the kids, cook dinner, have an epiphany, cook dinner, begin lots of seemingly random tasks, pick up the kids, cook dinner, clean the toilet, ask everyone I know “Who am I? What am I good at?”, be anxious....
You get the picture.
I started to really look at other people’s lives. Who inspired me? How were they living? I was looking for a template to live by. It was a good place to start and I tried quite a few templates on for size: Earth Mother, Psychology Student, Writer, Poet, Serious Musician, Piano Teacher, Funky Urban Mother, Singer, Clean Cut Counsellor. But none of them were a perfect fit. I was pretty confused because I always liked to do the right thing - what if I couldn’t find it?
I so loved the things I had discovered. But I felt I needed to focus on one thing and become an expert in that. It made sense because then I would be really good at one thing and I could just do that. Life would be simple.
I also was worried because I found out I was a committing career faux pas - I was wearing Too Many Hats. Apparently this could lead me to spreading myself too thin, not achieving real success and people judging me as not taking my work seriously.
Until I saw this:
You know when you hear something and it just washes over you? Perhaps you put it aside to figure out what it means later. Then one day you actually hear it - the meaning is clear. I suddenly understood what this little saying meant.
Create your own path.
Yes, it would be simpler to follow the same path that others have made. Yet the people who seemed to really be living an interesting and fulfilling life got there in myriad different ways. They had made their own paths. I knew then that my path was unique, it had not
been walked before, and no one else could tell me what did or did not lie ahead. I had to make it and I had to do it myself.
We are all making choices each day, no one moment is the same as another, and our choices make us active agents in creating our experiences. Exploring and experiencing things for ourselves gives us more knowledge with which to make our choices - and more knowledge about our selves too. Slowly we build the path as we go.
So I got down to it and explored, experienced and made my way through the forest of question and fears until I looked behind me and saw that I had indeed forged a path and could start to see a way to keep pushing ahead.
It turns out that my Too Many Hats have become One Big Sombrero! My work may not look like the work of many other musicians or counsellors out there but all the facets of my experience and passion do fit together in a focussed whole. A vision that harnesses music, storytelling and creativity for mental well being. The people that I have shared this with in the varied work that I do have benefited from all my hats. It is my hope to empower others to dig out the old hats they may have stored away in corners of themselves - perhaps out of embarrassment, shame or fear - dust them off, check them out and try them on. They might not look too bad after all - and they could help you to find your own path.
Happy Exploring,
Regards,
Fiona Claire.
Work with me: Individual Counselling, Creativity and Therapeutic Singing Session by appointment. Email: fionaclaire@optusnet.com.au or call 0437 985 132
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Songwriting Course, May 20 - June 24, Mondays 7:30 -9:30.
Jika Jika Community Centre Northcote. $120/ $120 Conc.
